Last Monday, I had to send my grandma back to hometown cause my uncle was still at Penang. She needed to clean up the house and prepare things for the new year. I was free so I went back with her. Being at hometown means being out from my comfort zone. No television, no internet, nothing. We reached in the evening that day. Everything were dusty and there were just too many things to clean up. Grandma started to clear off some dust since there will be a maid coming over to clean the place up the next day. So, didn’t really clean up except essential stuffs like cups, tables and chairs. There’s nothing for me to do, I could have helped my grandma but I didn’t know where to start from. I walked back and forth, wandering blankly. Watched cars pass by the road, seeing unknown faces passing by. Before realizing it, the sky turned dark. It was getting late so we headed out for dinner. Back home, everything was so still and silent. I turned on the laptop after dinner, watched movies to kill time. Grandma just sat on the chair, nothing to watch since there isn’t television. So I went over and sat with her, listened to her stories that she has to tell. Grandma then talked about us, asking how were you doing. I couldn’t keep it away from her any longer so I told her that we’re over. Sigh. Tears filled my eyes when I finally told her. She asked why, probably she guessed it was because you were too busy at the moment so we parted. I wished I could explain it to grandma but I was afraid I couldn’t hold back my tears then. Thus, I took a deep breathe and walked to the toilet to wash my face. Still, I can’t let it out.
Friday. I’m back at KL. Went out with Marie and Siong Tat for lunch and shopping but ended with nothing. Sunday is Chinese New Year and coincidentally, Valentine’s Day as well. I planned to give her something as a gift though we won’t be celebrating it together. Maybe, just a simple gift for her. I had this gift in mind, probably it wouldn’t mean anything to you. I asked my friends opinion and they said it was a good idea, but to me, I guess it will just turn into a wasted effort. Yet, I took the effort to perfect my gift for you but I guess there just isn’t enough time left. Even if it was done, how could I get it to you by then. Sigh. Maybe, another day.
It’s Chinese New Year today but I’m not in the mood for it. Everything just don’t seem right. No mood, no feeling, nothing. I tried contacting you but I guess you’re busy. Nothing I could do about it. Night falls. We met up with our uncle, aunty and cousins. Texted you again yet same response. At times it seems that you give me hope yet at times I see that you’ve made your decision. Why so.. It just confuses me. Sigh. I pretend to put on smiles everyday, wonder if they know it’s just a show. I’ve tried and tried, blocking up the pain I feel inside. The pain of wanting you. Wanting you.
Anyway, Happy Chinese New Year to whoever who stumbles upon this page though I know this page is only viewed by me alone. Sigh. Good night.
Not really viewed by you alone. =P
Your post makes me remind of my ex-bf… He is so crazy in love until I scare of him!
Honestly, a gift is really can’t save the relationship. No matter how good & how luxury is it. Even 2 or more gifts… I can say you better save your money.
More calls/ sms?? It just will make the girl feel annoyed to you.
So if a girl doesn’t love you anymore, nothing can help.
If she is still love you, she will be find you automatically.
Hey, I view. Happy CNY bro. You’ll be alright.
Shit, i’m like reading about my own story wtf. Although i’m not in the mood for CNY, too, but a happy chinese new year to you, indeed. And yea, you’ll be alright.
you’ll be all right…
hey fren,bad thgs will past n good thgs will come towards u soon…let the past b the past,trust me u can find a better 1 soon n tat will b ur true lover!b tough man…anythg juz give me call.support u always ya! ^^
Life isn’t just like that. Don’t waste your precious time holding on the past that will never come back. Hope u’ll get over it soon! =)
relationships are like glass… sometimes it’s just better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself by putting it back together… if you really cannot forget her, then just let it be because to really forget someone, no effort is needed… learning to let go is part of love… you’ll get over it.. everything is gonna be fine..